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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Finally, I head back to my car, and guess what? I locked my keys inside. Just my luck, right? I’m standing there, cursing under my breath. But then, this old lady walks by and says, “You need help?” I’m like, “Yeah, if you have a spare key!” She just laughs and keeps walking. Thanks, lady.

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